Thursday, August 05, 2010

Stepping into the Ring

One of my oldest, and dearest friends came over this afternoon to sit with me.  Oh how I appreciated that visit.

We sat and talked about everything going on...she knows my innermost fears, she cries with and for me, she laughs with me, and she prays for me.

The abundance of emails, texts, calls over the past few days has made me realize just how much every single one of my friends (including those of you who follow along in our life on here), and my family are carrying this burden on their shoulders right along side of me.

I've said it before, and I will say it until my last breath...I'm so incredibly blessed.  I am surrounded by people who love me enough to pray for me, and for my family.  There is nothing better that anyone can do for me than that.

I'm faced with one of my greatest fears right now.

I told Chris last night that my greatest fear in all of this is, that if it is in God's will for me to go home, that the kids are so small (especially Breanna and Ava) that they will only remember me through pictures. He assured me that no matter what, the kids would never forget my spirit.  The thought comforted me enough that I could rest.

We live in a world that is so concerned with outward appearance, and I'd be lying if I said the thought of losing one or both of my breast doesn't scare me.  IT ABSOLUTELY DOES  But nothing scares me more than the thought of not being able to see my children grow up.  Of them not being old enough to truly grasp how much I love them, and their (step) father.

It terrifies me.

And I know there are so many of you out there that can relate to that feeling...even if you aren't battling cancer.

Despite being terrified for the sake of my family, I know one thing to be true...

Cancer can and very well might take my breast, and my hair.  But cancer can not beat me because even if God calls me home, it CAN NOT follow me beyond the grave.   It CAN NOT take my spirit.

Stepping into the ring is undoubtedly scary, and is going to be hard, but I have God on my side, and I WILL put up one heck of a fight.

This woman, Nicole Johnson is truly an inspiration.

FOREWARNING!!!!...Chances are you won't be able to watch this without needing a Kleenex.


  1. I love you Casondra! And I'm probably crying enough for you and me.

  2. Casondra, you have been heavy on my heart today... well the past few days. Your girls are so lucky, they have a great role model. Still praying!!! Love ya!