Thursday, August 05, 2010

Live like you were dying

One of my best girl-friends, Evan, sent me a book awhile back by Kerry & Chris Shook titled "One Month to Live"

Over the past week and a half I have dove into reading this book.   Today's entry (Day 11) brought me to tears the minute I started reading the opening quotes.

It's Principle 2: Loving Completely, and it's titled "Scaling the Obstacle to Unity"

Quote 1: We have to pray with our eyes on God, not on the difficulties.-Oswald Chambers

Quote 2: I know God will not give me anything I can't handle.  I just wish that he didn't trust me so much.-Mother Teresa

Last night Chris and I were laying in bed talking about everything that is going on.  We talked about his life growing up...losing his dad when he was 10, his step-dad when he was 25, and his mom when he was 30.  We talked about a lady who not long ago was on her way home with her husband, after meeting with the funeral director to plan out her son's funeral, when they were in a car wreck and her husband was killed.  We spent a lot of time talking about loss, and how it impacts so many people.  

We talked about how for our entire marriage we've always focused everything around our children....thinking we would have the rest of our lives to focus on 'us'.  Never taking into much consideration that something could happen to one of us.   And how that needs to change.

Before I go any further, I need to tell you that my husband is one of the strongest men I know.    He's the rock that holds everything together when to me, it feels like it is falling apart.  He's my foothold when I'm climbing a mountain.

Last night as we were talking he broke down as he told me the thing he fears most in life is losing me.  That until now he's taking for granted that I would always be here, with him.  That he spends so much time letting things that don't matter get him down, and now more than ever he realizes that nothing else is more important than cherishing each and every day we have together.  

How lucky I am to be loved THAT much!  By him, by my family, by my friends, and by my Heavenly Father.

As I held onto him, sweet little Breanna came and crawled in bed with us, and asked in her little voice, "What's wrong, Mommy? Are you O.k.?"  To which I responded, "I'm fine sweetheart.  Just giving Daddy a hug."  Then she says, "Why, did Daddy bump his head?"  Through the tears came laughter.  Laughing at the innocence of a babe whose mind relates crying to getting boo boo's.

Leave it to Breanna (the miracle God gave us, and has allowed us to parent for the past almost 3 years) to bring on laughter when it's needed the most.  I see so much of him in her.

My challenge to all of you is to live each day as if it were your last.  Don't waste a moment worrying about things that don't really matter.  Don't pass up the opportunity to tell the people in your life just how much you love and cherish them.  You just never know when the opportunity will pass you up.  TOMORROW IS A GIFT!


  1. Wow, so true. Its so hard to let the rat race of life take a backseat to what is really important and to what really counts. In that respect, you are lucky... NOT with having cancer BY ANY MEANS. But you and your husband will now look at life thru different glasses.... forever....see things differently and probably enjoy it more than someone who is not going thru what you are. I have been praying for you, for the doctors that work with you and for your surgery/recovery.....