Decisions

UPDATE:


We've been praying and feel that the bilateral mastectomy is the best option for my long term health.  Recovery is going to be a long road, but I know I have God, my family, friends, and internet prayer warriors on my side.  Thank you all!

I haven't posted about my appointment yesterday, because...well, because I've been submersed in my thoughts and feelings about the huge decision I have before me.

Long story short - the decision on what procedure I have is up to me, and I have to tell my surgeon my decision by next Wednesday.  A lumpectomy or bilateral mastectomy.  It boils down to personal preference on what I feel is best for me, and my doctor told me he feels like there are no 'wrong decisions' to be made here.  It's whatever I think is best for me mentally, physically, and emotionally.

You all know from my previous post that I was worried about cost, and that was significantly swaying how I felt.  Those worries have been erased as we have learned insurance WILL cover both procedures at the same percentage.

Chris and I talked about it again last night, and he basically told me, you know how I feel, but it's your body and ultimately your decision.  I just want you to be OK now and long term.

I spent the entire afternoon yesterday writing down lists of pro's and con's of both procedures, and then I prayed about it.  I asked God to give me a sense of peace when I thought about the choice I am supposed to make, because every time I thought about both of options, I just felt uneasy.

I had dreams about it all night...I guess that is what happens when you fall asleep thinking about something.

I am leaning towards one more than the other, but I still not 100% sure, so if you could, please pray with me that I will feel at peace with it before I meet with the surgeon next week.