Sunday, November 07, 2010

An open letter to E...


I read this quote (It takes strength to watch a friend cry, courage to comfort them, but it takes both to let them lean on you as they cry, so you can give them strength) a couple weeks ago, and sat in tears as I thought back on everything we've been through together in the past 10 years.

While I'm not going to go into details, because the beginning of the struggles during our friendship are yours to tell, I will say that I think we've come full circle in that in the past 4 years; you have become the nurturer in this relationship.

I found a letter from you dated 7/17/01...even back then your paper matched your envelopes and so did the sticker you sealed the letter with.  It made me smile.

I LOVE that if you truly look at our personalities, we are each obsessive about things in our own rights, but they are very different from each other.  I think it's how we manage to so perfectly balance each other out.

I miss us living so close, but thank God daily for the time we lived close, and for running into each other again.  I know He knew all along that would happen.

The other day I was having a conversation with Amanda about Breanna being at Riley's and I told her I think the only reason I was able to leave her to come home and not completely lose my mind was because you were there with her.  You were there to be her voice when I needed to be home with my other three children, and I knew she would be okay.  You were the one in the NICU with me when I held her for the first time, crying with me.  I know without a doubt, that that moment meant as much to you as it did me.

I can NEVER put into words what that meant to me.

You've been with me through every surgery I've had in the past years, and every time, YOU have kept my household running smoothly.

I love that we can sit at the hospital or our houses and watch TV (series) for hours without saying a word.  And that we get to laughing so hard sometimes my stomach, literally, hurts.

I laugh when I think about us telling your mom about the 'sweeping the kitchen floor' story, and her saying, "She must really love you, because she wouldn't do that for anybody."

I laugh when I think about our discussion about how I would wash my hair after my mastectomy and you telling me, "I love you, but I'm NOT getting in the shower with you."  haha

I love that in my moments of calm denial, you cry for me.  ie...When the ex told me he wanted a divorce, and you insisted on coming over when I insisted that I was FINE...and then you sat on my couch and cried, and I looked at you and asked why you were crying?  You said, "I don't know...I've never liked him, but it's still sad."

I love that you have the same demented (and sometimes rude) sense of humor that I have, and that you send me random, hilariously funny pictures of things.  ie...the melons I incurred after birthing Breanna,  full mother-daughter matching get-ups, and the guy in running shorts at the mall when the outside temp was in the negatives.

I sit in tears when I think that I am not there with you while Grandma is having so many issues.  I know she is one of the most important people in your life, and I wish I was there to be your shoulder to lean on.  I'm sorry that I'm not.

One of these days, I will finish your kitchen!

At lastly, for today...there will be more....I adore our phone chats at 6:50 every morning while you are driving to work.  It's quiet, no kids screaming in the background, and it just makes my whole day start out good.

I've heard you don't pick your family but you do pick your friends.  I think in a sense that is true, but I think God leads you to pick friends who ultimately become family.  And that, is EXACTLY what you are!!!

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