Dear Kate

When I first learned of Bre's congential heart defect, and the seriousness of the situation, my head told me to guard my heart.  There was no way this little 4.5 lb, 31 week preemie could survive this.  But my heart knew there might only be a few, short days to physically be with her and I needed to love her with everything I had.

In those 15 days prior to surgery, and for the month following, my life consisted of barely being able to touch her, comfort her, to really do anything but just be with her and love her.  I felt more helpless than I ever had in my life, and I know right now, there are times that you feel the exact same way.  It may be for a different reason, but the pain is still the same.  It's partly in feeling helpless and partly in wanting something so much more for your child because you love them so much.

I've prayed, and prayed, and prayed some more since I received your email with the diagnosis.  I know the road ahead is long, and will often times be bumpy, but I also know that in those moments when a sweet, little O calls his Mommy 'a princess'....it makes it all worth every ounce of worry and every tear shed.

This morning as I drove the kids to school, I was listening to the writer of the song I'm about to share with you, talk about his feelings when his own child was diagnosed with a congential heart defect in utero.  As I pulled in the school parking lot, tears flowed down my face as I flashed back to that place in my own life, and then you and little O were all I could think about.

This line got me..... 'I chose to recklessly love my child, even if I bleed'.

Afraid to love, something that could break,
Could I move on, if you were torn away?
I'm so close to what I can't control
I can't give you half my heart, and pray it makes you whole

You're gonna have all of me, you're gonna have all of me,
Cause you're worth every fallen tear, you're worth facing every fear
You're gonna know all my love, even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts, giving you all of me is where I'll start.

I won't let sadness steal you from my arms
I won't let pain keep you from my heart
Trade the fear of all that I could lose, for every moment I share with you

You're gonna have all of me, you're gonna have all of me,
Cause you're worth every fallen tear, you're worth facing any fear
You're gonna know all my love, even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts, giving you all of me is where I'll start.

Heaven broke into this moment, it's too wonderful to speak
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me
So let me recklessly love you, even if I bleed
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me

You're gonna have all of me, you're gonna have all of me,
Cause you're worth every fallen tear, you're worth facing any fear
You're gonna know all my love, even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts, giving you all of me is where I'll start

You're gonna have all of me,
Causeyou're worth every fallen tear, you're worth facing any fear
You're gonna know all my love, even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts, giving you all of me is where I'll start
It's where I'll start

I see this in your dedication to do everything you possibly can to make O's life better, and I just wanted to tell you that I think he's one blessed little boy to be surrounded by that kind of love from his princess Mommy.