Heavy

I spent Wednesday and Thursday of this week up north with E.

Our time was spent shopping (which brought some much needed laughter...the kind that occurs between close friends when you talk about things with each other that you'd never admit to anyone else...except maybe your spouse! :)), running errands, picture taking, crazy out of the way driving to calm food cravings (on my behalf), tears, hugs, etc.

My heart is soooo heavy for her right now, and I would give anything to take away her pain.

I know most of you that follow along here know very well the special place that E holds in my heart and in my life.  But for those of you that don't....E and I met in Chem Lab in college some MANY years ago.  We still to this day laugh about all the mishaps that occurred in that lab.  And yes, only two people who are very much in a sense 'dorky smart' would find those things funny. 

While E and I spent hours upon hours together in that class, we never really hung out outside of class until both of us started dating guys that were in the same program and were friends.  Then our little group (of about 10 people) all became inseparable during our college years. 

E went through a tremendously terrible time and it only brought us closer together....until circumstances caused her to cut all connection to the life she knew.  None of which had anything to do with me.

Fast forward about 3 years (in which both of us had had life changes/name changes/etc...where we couldn't find each other again even though we had both tried).  One day I was in the check-out line at Wal-Mart (in a town three hours from my hometown that I had only moved to because my ex C's family lived there), and I hear someone say my name.  At first, I thought surely someone else with the same name was close by, because I didn't know anyone except C's family in that town, so surely no one would be talking to me.  Then out of the corner of my eye I see E.

We spent a lot of time standing in the middle of the aisle, both in disbelief that we had both moved and we now only lived 15 minutes away from each other.  We exchanged numbers and decided the next week we'd go Christmas shopping.

Needless to say, that was 5 years ago, and we're closer today than ever.  There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that that (us running back into each other) was a God thing.  I have no doubt that that was His intention all along.

Over the course of the 8 out of 11 years since we've known each other, we've been by each other's side through every thing we've walked through as individuals. The good, the bad, and the ugly!  Divorce, bad relationships, births of our children, marriage, sickness, surgeries, and death.  As you know from my previous post, she's a second mother to my children.  She was there, holding my hand when my own child was clinging to life, and she was there to be my voice and run my household when I underwent my mastectomy several months back.

She's more than a friend....

She's the fifth sister that God intended me to have! (And we always joke that one day we'll be Mother-in-laws together, because our kids (my girls and her boys) are all the best friends, and we're convinced at least two of them will end up dating and getting married.  ha ha)

This week my heart is breaking for her as she is, undoubtedly, going through one of the hardest transitions she's ever faced in her life. 

Luckily, she has a pretty fantastic husband and some pretty sweet boys to lean on during this hard time, and I know in her heart she knows her granny is now at peace, but that doesn't mean her heart isn't hurting more than she ever thought it could.

I wish I could take it all away, and in a perfect world I would be able to. 

But since I can't...I'll spend every day, on my knees, praying that God allows each and every day to get a little easier.  And that when she thinks of granny, only happy thoughts will fill her mind.  That she realizes in those moments of weakness and uncertainty, that granny will be there with her, giving her the strength and courage to go forward.

Will you all please pray with me for her?!  I know she'd really appreciate it.