Worthy of Honor

 

How is it possible that another week has already went by?  I guess the old saying that the older you get, the faster time goes by really is true.

 

Bill and I have been so busy with projects around our house that I completely missed Friday's Fave Five last week.  I digress.

 

A friend recently told me that she was inspired by my blog and outlook on life.  It's always odd to me when people say things like this, because I don't approach any area of my life with the thought 'I hope someone sees this and it is inspires them.'  And this blog is no different.  It's just my place to capture our memories.  A place to remind myself of all I have to be thankful for.

 

Like...

 

1.  Creativity.  If you've been following along the past couple weeks, you know that Bill and I have taken on several projects around our house.  We built a table for our dining room, upcycled a few pieces of decor, painted and re-decorated our bookshelves, and started our office remodel.  Bill jokes that he is going to block Pinterest from our router, but I know he secretly likes looking for new ideas with me.

 

2. Encouragement.  As much as I enjoy exploring my creative side, I am thankful for a husband who not only supports and encourages it, he jumps in and helps me when I ask him to. 

 

3.  Countdowns.  In a week, I will be headed to pick up my littlest cherub from her dad.  As much as Bill and I have enjoyed having a few weeks to settle into married life/living together, I am extremely ready to be reunited with my little blonde hair, blue eyed beauty. 

 

4.  Lunch Dates.  I love the fact that Bill's office is just a few miles from our house, so he comes home for lunch almost every day.  And I'm even more thankful when he makes me lunch because I'm busy refinishing our office furniture.

 

5.  Grace.  This subject has been weighing heavily on my heart lately.  Mostly because there are constantly situations in which I look back on and think, 'I should have handled that with more grace.'  It's exactly what Jesus gifted to us that saved our souls, and there are areas of my life in which I know I need it.

 

A.  Grace for myself. 

 

I will stop listening to that inner voice that tells me I'm not good enough.  Not a good enough wife, mom, daughter, friend, Christian.   That voice is almost debilitating at times.  You didn't get that last item checked off of your to-do list for the day, so nothing you accomplished matters.

 

 I have a savior, a husband, and children who tell me that I am, and I need to start believing it.

 

I will continue taking moments each day to pause and thank God for my blessings.  Every day, as a whole, may not be the best, but there are absolutely beautiful moments in every day.  And it's so much easier to honor those moments if we're brave enough to live like that.

 

B. Grace for my husband.

 

Bill and I have a very real, honest, and respect-filled relationship - which I am very proud of, but I'd be lying if I said we don't have moments when we aren't on our A game. 

 

I will stop thinking that he can read my mind, decipher my body language, meet ALL of my needs and wants, and remember to put the toilet seat down in the middle of the night.  (Even though I secretly REALLY wish we could accomplish the last named task.)

 

I will allow grace to fill the spaces between our differences, because I desire to honor our marriage.

 

 C. Grace for my children.

 

It's hard to be a kid.  Especially in this day and age.  I will put myself in their shoes, and work through their fears and worries with them.  I will understand that, sometimes, it's hard having me for a mother, and remember that their hearts desire to please me even when my expectations of them are too high.  I want to teach them to laugh more, forgive quicker, listen longer, be gracious, and give love.

 

D.  Grace in hurt.

 

I've really struggled with this over the past several years, but I really feel like He has used my life this past year to open my eyes to the fact that hurt is not always intentional.  And sometimes it comes when someones heart is in the right place for them or someone else, but that place doesn't align with yours.

 

We've all been there - for various reasons.  And as hard as it is, I pray that He will continue to reform my heart.  I desire to be a part of the answer, but so often I am still a part of the problem.

 

When I step outside of my comfort zone of the happiness bubble I choose to live in most of the time, I see real people, real life, and real disappointment and hurt.  And I know that as much as some of those people and circumstances have hurt me, that I've also caused hurt, too.

 

I know His grace - though undeserved - has the ability to tear down defenses and turn even the biggest mess into a message.

 

 

For me, grace is the beginning of freedom to fully love, and there isn't a corner of my life that doesn't need it.

 

And at the end of my life, I hope it can be said that I loved well.