I'm participating in the SITS Girls Back2Blogging event.
Back2Blogging challenge #5....why do you blog?
Friday, September 17, 2010
Back2Blogging - Why Do You Blog?
Back2Blogging challenge #5....why do you blog?
Friday's Fave Five
YAY!!!! It's Friday. Friday is the day of the week we look back at the week and talk about five things we are thankful for. If you are new here and want to play along, you can find all the details here. Be sure to add your website to Mr.Linky, and visit others who participate in this also.
1. Friday's. No matter how great our week was, it's always a relief when Friday gets here because it's the start to your week-end. I'm especially thankful for this weekend in that it is the last weekend before my surgery.
2. Nurses. I've been thinking about this A LOT during all my doctor and hospital visits. No matter how great your doctor's are, it's really your nurses that make your experiences. They are the ones who are actually taking care of you 90% of the time. And I must say...the nurses I've had during this whole experience have been AWESOME. They've spent so much time with me, answering questions, making follow up calls to make sure I'm feeling OK, and just being tremendous blessings to me throughout this process.
3. Baking. Baking has been my escape. It's my quiet time. My time to talk to God while creating delicious food. Give me a whisk and some prayer time and I'm good to go!
4. The weather. It's been so beautiful outside. I LOVE being able to sit on my back patio in the evenings, curl up under a blanket, and read while the kids are playing in the yard.
5. My husband. I know he is in my 5 almost every week, but I seriously can't praise him enough right now. He's taking on so much more responsibility around the house. Any time I ask him to do something for me, he drops what he is doing and does it. Through this process I've really had a lot of anxiety about how it will affect my kids, but he's been switching off every Friday and taking one of them to go do something one-on-one with him, and then on Saturday's taking them all to do something out of the house so I can get some extra rest. It's hard for me to not be able to be there for my kids 110% right now, and he's just really stepped up to the plate with giving them that extra attention that I normally give them. This process has just affirmed to me how strong we are as a unit.
I hope you all have a blessed weekend.
If you're from the Winslow area and will be going to the community fest this weekend, be sure to stop by the bake sale booth my mom and grandma are setting up to benefit Dawnetta. I'm making the blueberry crumb bread for it! :) We still don't have any real answers as to why her eye sight is not returning. She does have another appointment with the neurologist in Indy soon. So, please, keep her in your prayers as well!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Yesterday's Appointment
Yesterday morning I had an appointment with my P.S., Dr. F.
FOREWARNING: DON'T READ IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH!!! OR SIMPLY DON'T WANT DETAILS OF THE NASTINESS I EXPERIENCED YESTERDAY!!!
What I thought was just my final Pre-Op appointment resulted in me having a 'mini' surgery of sorts.
I say mini in that it was done in office with numbing medicine, but I wound up with approximately 40 stitches.
Two days ago my surgeons decided it would be safe to try and attempt a nipple sparing mastectomy (NSM).
Apparently, you have three blood supplies to your nipples. When you have a mastectomy two of those three blood supplies are cut off.
Which essentially will put the nipple in 'shock' and in some cases it will die.
In an attempt to...in my P.S.'s words....'CONDITION' the nipple, yesterday's procedure involved cutting off of one the blood supplies. This gets it use to surviving with only two of the blood supplies. Then when I have my mastectomy, it only loses one additional supply instead of both of them at the same time.
When Dr F came in and started drawing on me, I thought Oh, he is showing me where they are making the surgery incisions.
Then as he kept talking, I realized, OH CRAP! This is happening TODAY!!!
I was shocked that I had no clue this needed to be done.
Ava had to be picked up in 20 minutes, and I was there, ALONE. Chris had kept Breanna at home because she just doesn't do well in waiting rooms.
When Dr. F asked me if I was OK with proceeding with the procedure all I could say was If I can come back later. I have to pick up my daughter from Kindergarten.
He asked his nurse if she could fit me in, in-between two surgeries he had. They told me to be back in AN HOUR!
I quickly drove home, told Chris he needed to get ready because he needed to take me back up there.
I called Dad to come watch the kids as I was driving up to go get Ava.
I got her, went home to change into a comfy shirt and bra, and when I did and saw the incision mark drawings....I LOST IT!
You see, Dr.F didn't really explain to me why this needed to happen when I was first in his office, and I just don't do well with unexpected things. When I know something is coming, I can mentally wrap my head around it, and be OK.
Chris said he would go back in the room with me, but I told him he could sit in the waiting room and watch TV. He doesn't handle watching me give myself insulin injections....there was NO way he could have been in the room for that. And quite frankly, I wouldn't have wanted to be back in that room if I didn't have to be.
Dr. F numbed up most of the bottom half of my breast.
He then made a 6 inch or so U-shaped incision around the aerola. Then he separated the blood vessels and cauterized them. Let me tell you, that is not for the weak stomached.
He stitched me up....which seemed like it took forever, and when I changed my bandages last night I understood why. There is about 20 stitches in each side.
Once he was done and the nurse was putting antibiotic ointment and the bandages on, Dr. F went out and drew Chris some diagrams and explained in detail why that procedure needed to take place. Then he came back in and explained it to me, since he didn't really do so beforehand very well.
He wrote me a prescription and I had to start my antibiotics which I will be on until the drain tubes come out post-surgery.
So, I guess I can say there is now OFFICIALLY no turning back! The prep stages for surgery have begun. The incisions they made will be the same place where the incisions are made during surgery...only they will extend out towards my arm pits.
The countdown is now on!
ONE WEEK FROM TODAY MY LIFE WILL FOREVER BE CHANGED!!!
FOREWARNING: DON'T READ IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH!!! OR SIMPLY DON'T WANT DETAILS OF THE NASTINESS I EXPERIENCED YESTERDAY!!!
What I thought was just my final Pre-Op appointment resulted in me having a 'mini' surgery of sorts.
I say mini in that it was done in office with numbing medicine, but I wound up with approximately 40 stitches.
Two days ago my surgeons decided it would be safe to try and attempt a nipple sparing mastectomy (NSM).
Apparently, you have three blood supplies to your nipples. When you have a mastectomy two of those three blood supplies are cut off.
Which essentially will put the nipple in 'shock' and in some cases it will die.
In an attempt to...in my P.S.'s words....'CONDITION' the nipple, yesterday's procedure involved cutting off of one the blood supplies. This gets it use to surviving with only two of the blood supplies. Then when I have my mastectomy, it only loses one additional supply instead of both of them at the same time.
When Dr F came in and started drawing on me, I thought Oh, he is showing me where they are making the surgery incisions.
Then as he kept talking, I realized, OH CRAP! This is happening TODAY!!!
I was shocked that I had no clue this needed to be done.
Ava had to be picked up in 20 minutes, and I was there, ALONE. Chris had kept Breanna at home because she just doesn't do well in waiting rooms.
When Dr. F asked me if I was OK with proceeding with the procedure all I could say was If I can come back later. I have to pick up my daughter from Kindergarten.
He asked his nurse if she could fit me in, in-between two surgeries he had. They told me to be back in AN HOUR!
I quickly drove home, told Chris he needed to get ready because he needed to take me back up there.
I called Dad to come watch the kids as I was driving up to go get Ava.
I got her, went home to change into a comfy shirt and bra, and when I did and saw the incision mark drawings....I LOST IT!
You see, Dr.F didn't really explain to me why this needed to happen when I was first in his office, and I just don't do well with unexpected things. When I know something is coming, I can mentally wrap my head around it, and be OK.
Chris said he would go back in the room with me, but I told him he could sit in the waiting room and watch TV. He doesn't handle watching me give myself insulin injections....there was NO way he could have been in the room for that. And quite frankly, I wouldn't have wanted to be back in that room if I didn't have to be.
Dr. F numbed up most of the bottom half of my breast.
He then made a 6 inch or so U-shaped incision around the aerola. Then he separated the blood vessels and cauterized them. Let me tell you, that is not for the weak stomached.
He stitched me up....which seemed like it took forever, and when I changed my bandages last night I understood why. There is about 20 stitches in each side.
Once he was done and the nurse was putting antibiotic ointment and the bandages on, Dr. F went out and drew Chris some diagrams and explained in detail why that procedure needed to take place. Then he came back in and explained it to me, since he didn't really do so beforehand very well.
He wrote me a prescription and I had to start my antibiotics which I will be on until the drain tubes come out post-surgery.
So, I guess I can say there is now OFFICIALLY no turning back! The prep stages for surgery have begun. The incisions they made will be the same place where the incisions are made during surgery...only they will extend out towards my arm pits.
The countdown is now on!
ONE WEEK FROM TODAY MY LIFE WILL FOREVER BE CHANGED!!!
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Surgery Update
For those of you following along in this journey, I wanted to give you a few updates on appointments and surgery.
I have my final pre-op appointment with Dr Flannagan (my P.S.) tomorrow. We will go over in more detail his course of treatment as far as the tissue expanders and the exchange time frame.
Friday morning I have an appointment with anesthesiology to decide what type of anesthesia and pain medication will be used during and after surgery.
Then at 11, I have an oncology appointment.
Surgery is next Thursday, September 23, at noon. We have to be at the hospital at 10 am so I can get registered and they can get my IV going, etc. The surgeon said surgery will take approximately 4 hours total. So, I should be out of surgery just in time for supper. lol.
Anyone who knows me well, knows the humor in that statement.
My only complaint after surgery is that I.AM.STARVING!
And I become somewhat of a mental case when they tell me I can't eat!
Seriously!!!
Just ask my step-mom.
Or any one that visited me after my hysterectomy.
Until I ate against medical advice (and didn't get sick, I might add!)
If all goes well, I should be able to come home sometime Friday evening! I'm keeping my fingers crossed on that one. But should I have complications, the insurance company has approved a three-day stay.
I'm confident I will be home by Friday though, watching last season of Grey's Anatomy, because it's a tradition E and I have for every.single.time I have surgery.
Is it sad we have a tradition?
Here's to the breaking of said tradition after this all this is said and done!!!
I have my final pre-op appointment with Dr Flannagan (my P.S.) tomorrow. We will go over in more detail his course of treatment as far as the tissue expanders and the exchange time frame.
Friday morning I have an appointment with anesthesiology to decide what type of anesthesia and pain medication will be used during and after surgery.
Then at 11, I have an oncology appointment.
Surgery is next Thursday, September 23, at noon. We have to be at the hospital at 10 am so I can get registered and they can get my IV going, etc. The surgeon said surgery will take approximately 4 hours total. So, I should be out of surgery just in time for supper. lol.
Anyone who knows me well, knows the humor in that statement.
My only complaint after surgery is that I.AM.STARVING!
And I become somewhat of a mental case when they tell me I can't eat!
Seriously!!!
Just ask my step-mom.
Or any one that visited me after my hysterectomy.
Until I ate against medical advice (and didn't get sick, I might add!)
If all goes well, I should be able to come home sometime Friday evening! I'm keeping my fingers crossed on that one. But should I have complications, the insurance company has approved a three-day stay.
I'm confident I will be home by Friday though, watching last season of Grey's Anatomy, because it's a tradition E and I have for every.single.time I have surgery.
Is it sad we have a tradition?
Here's to the breaking of said tradition after this all this is said and done!!!
Shattered ~ SITS Back to Blogging Day 2 Assignment
As part of the back to blogging event over at The Sits Girls...today's assignment is to re-upload a post from the past. This post is substantial for me in that it was the first time I really gave Breanna's health problems to God.
Yesterday, Breanna had an appointment at Riley's Childrens Hospital. There were a few things I have been concerned about that I needed to discuss with the doctor, but overall I felt like the appointment would be routine, that my concerns would be diminished with simple 'fixes', and that it would just be another 'She's beautiful...doing great...keep up the good work' appointment.
So, the nurse practioner comes in, as she always does before we meet with the pediatric developmental specialist, and says she sees that I am concerned about the fact that Breanna has lost a pound in the past month. I said, 'Yes, I just don't understand it, considering the amount of whole milk and food she eats." I went on to ask her, if this was something caused by her metabolic rate, heart condition, etc. She said, "She didn't believe so, and that she was very concerned about it as well." She checked her over, told me Breanna is weight wise only at the percentage a 7 month old should be, and the height of a 9-10 month old. She, again, said she was very worried about this and would be back in a few minutes with the specialist to discuss what they think the 'problem' could be. At this point, my mind is racing. Why didn't she just tell me what she thinks is wrong?
The next five minutes seemed like an hour.
The doctor came in and said, "A dietician will be in shortly to discuss 'meal planning' with you." My heart sank...everything blurred. I knew what she was about to say..........LORD, NO....please no...don't let the words I think I am about to hear come out of Dr. Lytle's mouth. How can my baby have diabetes? Why? Hasn't she been through enough?"with her A1C coming back a little high, her rapid weight lost, increased appetite, excessive drinking and urinating, we believe Breanna is diabetic." I was screaming inside my head!
I lost it! I mean, completely, lost it. Dr. Lytle was trying so hard to be comforting...but the fact of the matter is unless you live with the disease, you can not understand how it makes you feel. You don't truly understand the impact it has, the changes in your life you have to make. The hassle of checking your sugar, of giving yourself insulin injections.
I gathered myself enough to ask her, "Where do we go from here?" Well, we need to start with checking her glucose level in the mornings and after meals, so that we can get an average to know what we are dealing with (her highs and lows) to determine treatment. She said, "Kids who are diagnosed early on have a much easier time of dealing with the disease, because they don't know life to be any different. Living this is their way of life." However true that may be, it still wasn't comforting to my heart.
The appointment lasted a while longer, and we discussed alot of things that I already know from dealing with my own diabetes, but didn't know if they would be different because of her being an infant. I met with the pediatric dietician to discuss meal planning for her. It is a little different than mine, but not alot, so that is good. As a family, we all overall eat healthy because of me having diabetes.
I left the appointment with ALOT...and I mean alot...of mixed emotions. I was so angry. I spent half the car ride home, sobbing, yelling at God. She has been through so much already, and just when we thought things were going in our favor with her health....BAM....this gets thrown at us. WHY?!?!?!?!?!
About halfway home, a peace came over me. My child...you AREprepared to deal with this. I HAVE given you the strength and knowledge to deal with this, and will continue to do so. Trust in me.
YES..God, you are right! I have already been here once before. I truly believe with all my heart, that my onset of diabetes as a young adult has made me prepared and able to take care of this beautiful child. A child who can not speak and tell me when she is feeling bad. This child who I have learned to read all so well. Dealing with my disease, learning about it inside and out, knowing the 'warning' signs has prepared me to take care of her. To be able to spot her 'warning' signs. To know when she doesn't feel well. To know how to care for her.
Last night, as I laid in bed praying...praising God for all the wonderful things he has given me, instead of questioning all the bad...I remembered a passage I heard a sermon on back when I was younger about Jesus healing a man who was born blind. The passage is John 9:1-5
So, the nurse practioner comes in, as she always does before we meet with the pediatric developmental specialist, and says she sees that I am concerned about the fact that Breanna has lost a pound in the past month. I said, 'Yes, I just don't understand it, considering the amount of whole milk and food she eats." I went on to ask her, if this was something caused by her metabolic rate, heart condition, etc. She said, "She didn't believe so, and that she was very concerned about it as well." She checked her over, told me Breanna is weight wise only at the percentage a 7 month old should be, and the height of a 9-10 month old. She, again, said she was very worried about this and would be back in a few minutes with the specialist to discuss what they think the 'problem' could be. At this point, my mind is racing. Why didn't she just tell me what she thinks is wrong?
The next five minutes seemed like an hour.
The doctor came in and said, "A dietician will be in shortly to discuss 'meal planning' with you." My heart sank...everything blurred. I knew what she was about to say..........LORD, NO....please no...don't let the words I think I am about to hear come out of Dr. Lytle's mouth. How can my baby have diabetes? Why? Hasn't she been through enough?"with her A1C coming back a little high, her rapid weight lost, increased appetite, excessive drinking and urinating, we believe Breanna is diabetic." I was screaming inside my head!
I lost it! I mean, completely, lost it. Dr. Lytle was trying so hard to be comforting...but the fact of the matter is unless you live with the disease, you can not understand how it makes you feel. You don't truly understand the impact it has, the changes in your life you have to make. The hassle of checking your sugar, of giving yourself insulin injections.
I gathered myself enough to ask her, "Where do we go from here?" Well, we need to start with checking her glucose level in the mornings and after meals, so that we can get an average to know what we are dealing with (her highs and lows) to determine treatment. She said, "Kids who are diagnosed early on have a much easier time of dealing with the disease, because they don't know life to be any different. Living this is their way of life." However true that may be, it still wasn't comforting to my heart.
The appointment lasted a while longer, and we discussed alot of things that I already know from dealing with my own diabetes, but didn't know if they would be different because of her being an infant. I met with the pediatric dietician to discuss meal planning for her. It is a little different than mine, but not alot, so that is good. As a family, we all overall eat healthy because of me having diabetes.
I left the appointment with ALOT...and I mean alot...of mixed emotions. I was so angry. I spent half the car ride home, sobbing, yelling at God. She has been through so much already, and just when we thought things were going in our favor with her health....BAM....this gets thrown at us. WHY?!?!?!?!?!
About halfway home, a peace came over me. My child...you AREprepared to deal with this. I HAVE given you the strength and knowledge to deal with this, and will continue to do so. Trust in me.
YES..God, you are right! I have already been here once before. I truly believe with all my heart, that my onset of diabetes as a young adult has made me prepared and able to take care of this beautiful child. A child who can not speak and tell me when she is feeling bad. This child who I have learned to read all so well. Dealing with my disease, learning about it inside and out, knowing the 'warning' signs has prepared me to take care of her. To be able to spot her 'warning' signs. To know when she doesn't feel well. To know how to care for her.
Last night, as I laid in bed praying...praising God for all the wonderful things he has given me, instead of questioning all the bad...I remembered a passage I heard a sermon on back when I was younger about Jesus healing a man who was born blind. The passage is John 9:1-5
blind from birth. His disciples
asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this
man or his parents, that he was born blind."
"Neither this man nor his parents
sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened
so that the work of God might be displayed
in his life. As long as it is day,
we must do the work of him who sent
me. Night is coming, when no one can
work. While I am in the world, I am the
light of the world."
The rest of John 9 goes on to talk about how Jesus spit on the ground and made mud to put on this man's eyes. And when he came home from the Pool of Siloam able to see, his neighbors did not believe it was him. They thought he was a man who just looked like him. He told them he was indeed himself, and what Jesus had done to heal him.
The devotional that goes along with this particular scripture talks about broken, shattered glass.
It says, "Shattered glass is full of a thousand different angles, each one able to pick up a ray of light and shoot it off in a thousand directions. That doesn't happen with plain glass, such as a jar. The glass must be broken into many pieces.
What's true of shattered glass is true of a broken life. Shattered dreams. A heart full of fissures. Hopes that are splintered. A life in pieces that appears to be ruined. But given time and prayer, such a person's life can shine more brightly than if the brokenness had never happened. When the light of the Lord Jesus falls upon a shattered life, that believer's hopes can be brightened.
Only our great God can reach down into what otherwise would be brokeness and produce something beautiful. With him, nothing is wasted. Every broken dream and heart that hurts can be redeemed by his loving, warm touch. Your life may be shattered by sorrow, pain, or sin, but God has in mind a kaleidoscope through which his light can shine more brilliantly."
Psalm 34:18 also talks about this.
brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed
in spirit.
And Psalm 51:17
spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.
As I pray about the situation before me, I can not help but think of my dear, sweet friend Chelsa who just a month ago lost her precious baby Andon. And Christine and Ryan Maglinger, another Riley's family from Evansville, who lost their precious baby Sadie when she was 4 months old. And all the other mothers out there whose precious little ones are sitting at the feet of our LORD, rejoicing. And all the other mothers who have sick children, who want so desperately to be able to take away their child(ren)'s pain. To protect them. Who hurt because they know it is out of their hands, and that the only thing they can do is give it to God.
Please, when you pray for our family today, pray for all those other mothers and father as well.
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This post was written in participation with The SITS Girls’ Back to Blogging Challenge. In participating, I am also submitting the posts to be entered into a sweepstakes to win a Turquoise Sky Electrolux washer & dryer set. The event is sponsored by Standards of Excellence, Westar, and Florida Builder Appliances.
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