Memories

As I think back to memories I have from throughout my life it occurs to me that our eyes are like the shutter on a camera.  Just as the shutter exposes the film to light, our eye lids opening exposes our minds to the world around us.  Our eyes are our lens, and our mind is our memory card.  With a simple blink our experiences are forever stored in our memory.

Photographs of the mind. Memories in our life add to the sense of completeness of who we are.  What a beautiful ability God has given us.

BLINK!

BLINK!

Holding our 31 weeker for the first time.

BLINK!

The miracle of life after her MAJOR open-heart surgery.

BLINK!

Her first night home.  Bittersweet!!!

BLINK!

Buying our house!

BLINK!

My big girls braving the dentist for the first time.

BLINK!

Fun family vacations!

BLINK!

The excitement of two little girls waiting to see Taylor Swift.

BLINK!

Fun times at the lake.

BLINK!

My sweet Ava graduating preschool

BLINK!

DAY 13

Love brings completeness

" A man leaves his father and mother and bonds

with his wife, and they become one flesh."

Genesis 2:24

"In the finale of God's creation, He made the first marriage by taking one man, removing part of him, and fashioning another person.  Then, in the mystery of matrimony, two could come together and become one.  Adam, though completed with God alone, found his God-given needs met even more fully with Eve, his complement, in life.  This is true in your marriage.  The Lord knew before you were born that you would one day marry your mate.  And in His design of your gender differences and uniqueness, God intentionally created needs in both of you that the other would be exclusively designed to help meet.

The devil's desire is to use your distinctiveness to push you apart - to operate independently - as though what your spouse brings to you is unnecessary.  But marriage has made you 'one flesh'.  Now neither of you should live without the other.  Though distinct in personality and ability, you have been designed to experience oneness in your diversity.  You are no longer just you.  You are so intimately combined with your mate that together you are to live as one complete person."

God Bless,

Casondra

Movies and swimming

I was so aggravated at myself last night.  I got some really great pictures of the kids playing outside..I came inside to upload them, and realized that I didn't have the memory card in the camera (it was stuck in the computer from the last set of pictures I uploaded) and I have no clue how to transfer them from the internal memory on the camera to the card.  I wonder if my forgetting to put it back in the camera is a sign that I do too many things at one time.    


I ended up finishing painting the back door trim after I put the kids to bed last night.  I simply don't have the will power to let things be half finished for more than 24 hours, and since we had a fun-filled day planned for today, I had to finish it last night.


I woke up this morning to feel Breanna cuddled up against me.  She's never been a co-sleeper, not even when she was being breastfed.  And truthfully, it made me a little sad because she's our last one.  The last baby.

Here lately when she wakes up in the middle of the night, daddy will go get her and put her in bed with us.  She snuggles right in between us and goes right back to sleep.  And if it's a week-day, when she wakes up and immediately asks "Where's daddy?".."He's at work",  but on the week-ends she gets the biggest smile on her face when she sees both of us.  I cherish our morning cuddles.  I wish she could stay this age forever!

For breakfast, the big kids requested pancakes...do you sense a pattern of pancakes for breakfast at our house?! haha  I'm telling you, peanut butter pancakes really are the best! Daddy requested bacon.  So pancakes and bacon it was.

We caught the early show at the movies...it's so much cheaper, and when you are a family of 7 on a budget every little bit helps.  I do have to say that Toy Story 3 was pretty darn cute.

On the way home Chris asked the kids what they wanted to, and of course, they said, Swimming!  So we ran home, grabbed swim suits, Rylie, the cooler and some food, and stopped by the grocery for some drinks and ice.  Then off we went to our favorite swimming hole.

                                                                My blessings!!!

He's ready to go snorkeling!

Picking up sticks from last nights storm...

Sweet Ava

Ava decided we needed our picture taken too

Bre exploring

Of course, we couldn't forget Rylie!!!

Simple pleasures in life!!!

  Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there.

quick side note: I'll start back up with the daily couple's devotional tomorrow.

Food for the Soul

My morning could not have started out any better.  All the kids and I snuggled and watched cartoons in bed....that is until they decided they were hungry.

So, I whipped up one of my most favorite morning delights....PEANUT BUTTER PANCAKES!!!

Several years ago...C introduced me to eating pancakes with peanut butter on them. When he was a child his grandma lived down the alley from his parents house, and when he would go down to her house she would make him peanut butter pancakes.  He urged me to try them...as he did with many other things (things that have become routine in my day-to-day life) during the five years we were together.  I'm thankful for that!  I'm trying to make a point every.single.day to say out loud something that I am thankful for.

Yesterday I mentioned that I have been struggling with perspective in my life lately...I've just felt overwhelmed.  My dad always tells me to just open my bible and start reading.  That He will tell me exactly what He wants me to hear.  So I did just that, and this is what I read.




1 John 1
That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched-this we proclaim concerning the Word of life.
The life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us.
We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us.  And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ.
We write this to make your joy complete.
This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.
If we claim to have fellowship with Him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth.
But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim to have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.


The devotional written by Rebecca Pippert is so fitting.


"We can lose our perspective while we are dealing with what is wrong with us.  So we need to remember that it is not God's desire that we live in perpetual pain, morbidly focused on what is wrong.  That tactic is the enemy's, not God's.  God convicts us of sin only so we may be forgiven and enabled to walk in freedom.


Confession is not a list of pretty blemishes drawn up grudgingly for the sake of an overbearing God.  It is a facing up to those cancerous vices that sap vitality, cripple freedom and eventually kill.  We are the ones who suffer if we sin.


To work to see the victory of God's grace over sin is not something we can knock off in a weekend.  Though we live in a culture that is always in a hurry, and demands instant results, the Bible admonishes us to wait, to work at it and never to lose heart.  I have discovered no magic key that enables us to lock out suffering or the painful and often slow process of growth.  I have found no shortcuts, no gimmicks to becoming the person God desires. EVIL NEVER HAS THE LAST WORD!  God does.  But while we wait, we need to ask for grace for tenacity, so that we can hang on - and on and on - while He works His excellent purpose in us.


We shouldn't underestimate the pain that will be involved.  But neither must we forget what is happening to us: we are being changed into the likeness of God."

Nick Vujicic :: Attitude is Altitude :: No Arms, No Legs, No Worries

WOW...this guy has amazing perspective/attitude. Truly inspirational!

Nick Vujicic :: Attitude is Altitude :: No Arms, No Legs, No Worries

I read a devotional a few days ago about attitude entitled 'A Time for Peace.'  The scripture it corresponds with is Ephesians 2:14



For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility.

"Snowbirds.  That's what we always called them.  The were folks from the North who sought the milder temperatures of the Sunbelt in the harshest months of winter.  Some locals resented their annual migratory invasion, while others welcomed their business.  But almost everybody considered them different.  One of 'them'...not one of 'us'.

distinctions.  differences.  categories.

How tempting is the universal tendency to categorize people we meet.  We place them safely in little boxes in our minds labeled 'familiar' or 'unfamiliar' while denying our prejudices.  Blue collar or white collar; white or black; educated or underprivileged.  labels become boxes in our minds into which we can admit or reject the people we encounter from day to day.

But differences aside, we really are more alike that different.  And we never know through whom God may want to speak to us, get our attention or touch our hearts.

The person who most aggravates me is quite possibly a reflection of my own shadow side, that part of me that I most dislike, struggle with or find embarrassing.  Before too quickly casting judgment on another, perhaps I need to ask God to help me turn the spotlight back on myself.  Perhaps I could begin by praying for the person I find it difficult to deal with, and in doing so, I may be surprised by who experiences the greatest change in attitude-it might just be me."

I read and re-read that last paragraph several times, as I all too often feel this way regarding a situation in my life.  Am I being unfair in my 'judgments' despite what I know to be true from previous experiences?  Are we really that different, or do we butt heads because we are more alike than I'd like to admit?  I have to admit, when I think about it from that perspective (which honestly, at times I really struggle to do)....my attitude towards the situation lightens up.  I think sometimes I get so busy caught up in my own plans/ideas, I tell God what I intend to do, and sometimes I even travel quite awhile in my own ideas before I realize He is not with me.  I don't think He leaves me on purpose, or to show me He's the boss.  It's just that in the rush of life and my bullheadedness of thinking my way is right, I ride roughshod over love, humility and what I know to be God's will for my life.  (I truly believe He is leading me to these scriptures/devotionals for a reason).  I tend to leave Him behind, lost in the crowd.

I know that I can cannot go faster than grace, and if I try...well, I will just have to retrace my steps.  I'm on His schedule...not my own! And even though at times it may not seem like it...I AM so grateful to be on His schedule!!!

Today's couple's devotional is also from Ephesians...coincident?  I don't think so.



DAY 7

.....that you being rooted and grounded in love...
Ephesians 3:17

"When we plant a living seed into healthy soil, we expect it to blossom.  And just as flowers in a greenhouse are supplies with an ideal environment for growth, so a home filled with love provides the ideal atmosphere for people to blossom.

We know that children who grow up in loving families tend to sleep deeper, stand taller, and venture further than those who are never secure in their parents' love.  Likewise, when you provide safe, loving soil for your spouse to grow in, they will be more likely to flourish with confidence, knowing they are valued and secure.

What happens when someone is loved over the years?  Their needs are met, dreams encouraged, opinions heard, and successes praised.  They're assured of your patience and forgiveness when they fail, and free to express themselves honestly without fear of your judgment.  They'll even weather intense seasons of disappointment with the stability your love supplies.  Admit it-we'd all love to be loved like that."

Is there a source of tension in your marriage?   Do you love your spouse enough to allow them to express themselves without feeling like they will be judged?  How is your mate affected by living with you?  Will you dare to create a loving environment for your spouse to grow in?

On a side note:  Chris got his C-PAP machine yesterday.  Needless to say, neither of us slept much at all last night....BUT the nurse assured him that after the adjustment period (about 2 weeks), he'd be feeling like a new person.  Please keep him in your prayers!


Here's the first family picture (with only my siblings and parents) that we've had taken in years.

From left to right: My brothers, Jeff and Chris.  Kamie.  My dad, Eddie. Mary Beth.  My step-mom, Roxann.  Me. Rachel, and Dawnetta.

A little bit of family history: Jeff and I are the oldest siblings and we're same age.  Chris is next, then Dawnetta, Mary Beth and Rachel (who are the same age), and Kamie.

Facing Fear

I have been working on a 'project' for a re-set for original engagement ring..well, even since our jeweler accidentally broke my wrap during a repair. I wanted something that would symbolize what we have faced in our marriage. The ups and downs, surprises, our daughter's illness, etc.

I ended up choosing a 'halo' setting to represent the angel God has blessed our life with. A sapphire and diamond eternity band to accompany it. Sapphire = Breanna's birthstone. Eternity = God. There are surprise diamonds on each side of the basket to represent the surprises life throws our way, that oh so often leave me filled with anxiety and fear. But this ring also serves as a reminder that I am not alone in facing those fears and anxiety. Chris is here by my side, and so is God.

When we first found out Breanna had 3 markers for down syndrome, I did alot of research about it and prayed daily that God would give me the wisdom, patience, and courage to be the best mother I could be. When we met with the high-risk OB/GYN, at 5 months, she told us she had good and bad news. Breanna would not (from what the test showed) have D.S., but she did have what she believed to be a heart deformation. I could not help but feel sick, and wonder what did I do wrong. Was it because I was so sick? Was it because I contracted MRSA a month earlier, and they had to give me some medications that were not safe for pregnancy so that I would not die? At the time, I they informed me of the risk to the pregnancy but I could not risk not making it when I had two other small children at home. My mind was spinning. And my heart was broken.

They set us up an appointment with a cardiologist at Ohio Valley Heart in Evansville for a fetal echocardiogram. We spent over an hour with the technician while she took a scan of every valve, chamber, etc that she possibly could. And to our surprise, the cardiologist told us everything looked fine. Fast forward two months, I go into premature labor at 31 weeks. Spend several days of unsuccessfully stopping my contractions, but I am not dilating and baby B's heart rate was holding steady. They want me to stay another night for observation during which she quits moving. Heart rate is still fine, but alot of my levels are not. They do an biophysical profile and she fails. They need to prepare me to deliver, but my blood levels are so low it is not possible to deliver. I spend the next 12 hrs receiving numerous blood transfusions, and steroid shots to try to help her lung development. Around 9 am on September 30th, the doctors come in a try to prepare us for having a premature baby. NOTHING can prepare a mother for having her child whisked away as soon as they are delivered. Not hearing them cry, not seeing them until they are intubated, and have numerous IV's. Evan rushed to be with me, because she's my best friend, and a nurse, and she knew she had to be there just in case this took a turn for the worst. This pregnancy had taken a toll on my body, my mind, and my spirit, and she knew I was at a point of not being able to handle much more.

Things started looking up! Breanna was doing so exceptionally well, the extubated her and Chris and I were supposed to come back to the hospital that evening to get to hold her. We got the call as we were leaving to head to the hospital that there was a problem, and that she would need to be lifelined to Riley's to have surgery. FEAR!!!!!!! We get to the NICU, and as we are standing there she codes. I can not put into words the emotions I felt standing there not knowing if they would get her back, watching them cock her head back and re-intubate her. (You know those medical shows where the loved ones are outside of the operating room, looking in? well, we were there. 5 feet away while all this was going on). I felt fear like I have never experienced in my life.

As you all know, Breanna had what even her surgeon described as an 'extraordinary' recovery. Nothing short of God working through him, and taking over during her healing. But as we face the new challenges (the stenosis and valve leakage), I am constantly plagued with fear and anxiety again. I know He and He alone has the power to heal her. And even though, the past few times we have went to the doctor things show no signs of progression, I still feel an overwhelming anxiety before each and every appointment. In the back of my mind is the reality that this could be the time we find out it's time for surgery. Is there going to be a donor available? Is her body going to tolerate the new pieces of her heart, or will it reject it?

I think if it were not for my ability to turn to Him, knowing she is in His hands, it is very possible that I might loose my mind. I'm faced with a situation in which I feel helpless. And for those of you like me who like to be in control, this is a horrible feeling. Turning to Him, and living to enjoy my family is what gets me through.

I read a devotional about facing fear...which talks about the five truths to consider when you're tempted to feel hopeless and trapped by fear.

1. Life is full of negative things that might happen.

2. As long as I choose a path of personal growth, I will face fearful situations. The day nothing happens that makes us feel a little bit afraid, we'd better watch out! We may have quit breathing! New opportunities and challenges bring numerous, fearful situations that we must deal with.

3.Acknowledging my anxieties is a positive first step. Seek help from experts in an area of concern. Or discuss your fears with your spouse or good friend.

4. An attitude of optimism will make today more enjoyable. Seek out humorous thoughts and anecdotes.

5Choosing a faith-filled decision is much less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from feeling helpless. Moving out in faith may seem frightening, risky, impossible, senseless, stretching, gut-wrenching, and unnatural. But it's worth it!!!